Consent Violations and Abuse

🔍 What Is Empowered Consent?

Empowered consent means:

• Freely Given – Not obtained through pressure, power imbalances, coercion, social expectations, manipulation, or intoxication.
• Reversible – Can be changed or withdrawn at any time, for any reason, without punishment or guilt.
• Informed – All parties understand what they’re agreeing to, including the risks, boundaries, context, and expectations involved.
• Enthusiastic – Everyone involved is expressing a clear and affirmative “yes,” not silence, not hesitation, not compliance.
• Specific – Consent to one thing is not consent to everything. It must be tailored to each activity, context, and interaction.

This model reflects our commitment to F.R.I.E.S. and goes beyond basic consent to radically affirm bodily and emotional autonomy.

💬 Empowered Consent in Practice

In our spaces—including social events, volunteer teams, workshops, and play parties—empowered consent looks like:

• Asking before initiating touch, flirtation, kink, or intimate conversation.
• Listening when someone says “no,” “not right now,” “I’m unsure,” or sets a boundary—and respecting it without question or pushback.
• Checking in regularly, especially in longer interactions or dynamics. Consent is not one-and-done.
• Offering opt-in invitations, not expectations. (“Would you like a hug?” instead of moving in for one.)
• Owning our impact if someone expresses discomfort or harm—regardless of our intentions.

We encourage a culture of curiosity and consent: “Can I do this?” “What would feel good for you?” “Do you want to keep going?”

⚠️ When Consent Is Compromised

Consent is not valid if:

• Someone feels unsafe, frozen, intimidated, or unable to say no
• Power dynamics (e.g., age, experience, authority, popularity) pressure someone to comply
• A person is under the influence of substances or experiencing dissociation
• There is deception or omission of important facts (e.g., STI status, recording without consent, misrepresentation of intent)
• Emotional manipulation is used (e.g., guilt-tripping, love bombing, gaslighting)

🌈 Consent Across Identities

Empowered consent requires that we recognize how systemic oppression—such as racism, ableism, transphobia, whorephobia, or classism—can affect people’s ability to say no safely or confidently.

• Marginalized folks are often punished for asserting boundaries. That’s why consent culture must also be equity culture.
• Neurodivergent, disabled, and trauma-impacted individuals may need different communication styles and processing time. We honor that.

We commit to creating spaces where everyone—not just the most confident or privileged—can speak and be heard.

🤝 Community Responsibility

Consent is a collective practice, not an individual burden. It’s on all of us to uphold it.

• If you witness boundary crossing or harm, you are encouraged to intervene or report, not ignore it.
• If someone expresses harm, we believe them—and center their needs.
• If you cause harm, accountability is part of healing, not shame. Consent mistakes require reflection, learning, and change.

🛠️ Ongoing Culture Building

Empowered consent is not a checkbox—it’s a skillset, a mindset, and a core part of our community ethics.

To that end, we:

• Provide consent education at events and in volunteer training
• Use shared language and signage to normalize consent culture
• Offer restorative pathways for conflict and harm resolution
• Model empowered consent in our leadership, organizing, and event design