Gender Affirming Solidarity Squad Training

Gender and Identity Terms

🔹 Transgender (Trans) – Someone whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.

🔹 Non-Binary (NB or Enby) – Someone whose gender is outside the traditional categories of "man" or "woman."

🔹 Gender Non-Conforming (GNC) – A broad term for anyone whose gender expression does not fit within traditional norms of masculinity or femininity.

🔹 Genderfluid – Someone whose gender identity shifts over time.

🔹 Agender – Someone who does not identify with any gender.

🔹 Two-Spirit – A term used by some Indigenous people to describe a sacred and cultural gender identity that embodies both masculine and feminine spirits.

🔹 Masculine-of-Center / Feminine-of-Center – Describes someone whose gender expression leans more masculine or feminine, regardless of identity.

🔹 Androgynous – A gender expression that blends or avoids traditional masculinity or femininity.

Check out the PFLAG glossary of terms here for more research! https://pflag.org/glossary/

👗 Style & Gender Expression Terms

🔹 Gender Presentation – The way someone expresses their gender through clothing, hair, makeup, and behavior.

🔹 Gender-Affirming Fashion – Clothing that makes a person feel aligned with their gender identity, whether that means dressing in a more masculine, feminine, or androgynous way.

🔹 Binding – The practice of flattening the chest using a binder or compression garment.

🔹 Tucking – The practice of securing genitalia to create a flatter or smoother appearance.

🔹 Packing – Wearing a prosthetic (or other item) in the pants to create a more traditionally masculine silhouette.

🔹 Deadnaming – Referring to a trans person by their birth name (instead of their chosen name). This is never okay.

🔹 Misgendering – Using the wrong pronouns or gendered language for someone. If you make a mistake, correct it quickly and move on.

💜 Dysphoria & Emotional Considerations

🔹 Gender Dysphoria – The distress that can come from a mismatch between a person's gender identity and their assigned sex or body. Not all trans/GNC people experience dysphoria, but for those who do, it can be intense and painful.

🔹 Euphoria Moments – The opposite of dysphoria! This is when someone feels joy, relief, or excitement because something affirms their gender identity—like finding the perfect outfit. Let’s help create these moments!

🔹 Holding Space – Providing non-judgmental, compassionate presence for someone as they navigate feelings of dysphoria, uncertainty, or self-expression. Sometimes, a quiet nod of support or a simple “You look amazing” can mean everything.

💜 Core Principles for Both Roles

🌈 Affirmation First:

Every attendee deserves to feel safe, respected, and celebrated. You’re not just helping pick out clothes—you’re helping affirm identities.

👂 Listen More, Assume Less:

Gender expression is deeply personal. Let attendees lead the way in what feels good for them. If they say they want something “masculine,” “feminine,” “androgynous,” or something else—ask for clarification rather than assuming what that means to them.

🙏 Hold Space, Not Expectations:

Some attendees may be navigating dysphoria, fear, or self-doubt. Your role isn’t to “fix” them—it’s to support them in feeling comfortable and empowered in their choices.

💙 Be a sounding board but do not allow people to trauma dump on you. Don’t be afraid to gently guide the discussion back to clothes.

🧎‍♂️Support If People Need to Step Away:

Don’t be afraid to suggest people take breaks if they start to seem overwhelmed or uncomfortable. We want this experience to be positive and affirming and if someone isn’t feeling that way, give them a space to step away without judgment.

🛑 No Unsolicited Advice or Pushing a Narrative:

What’s “flattering” by traditional standards doesn’t matter here. If an attendee loves something, hype them up, even if it’s not something you would pick for yourself.

🔄 Pronouns & Names Matter:

We’ll be giving attendees name tags to put their names and pronouns. Use the correct pronouns and names for each attendee. If you’re unsure, ask:

👉 "What name and pronouns would you like me to use?"

If you mess up, quickly correct yourself and move on—no over-apologizing or making it awkward.

💬 Empowering language is subjective!

Some people feel confident in using/reclaiming words like fat, curvy, or big. Some people don’t want to acknowledge parts of their bodies like their waist, hips, or chest. Ask people what language will make them feel confident and good while we help them discuss and pick out clothes.

👉“Are there any descriptive words that make you feel empowered or confident when describing yourself that you’d like me to use? Any words you want me to avoid?”

👉“What parts of your body do you want to highlight or show off?”

👉“Is there a part of your body minimize or not address during this process?”

🤝 Consent is Key: Always ask before offering feedback, suggesting an alternative, or touching an item they’re trying on.  Example:

👉  "Would you like some ideas on how to style that?"

👉“Can I touch this part of your body?” when taking measurements

👗 Styling Consultant Training (For those providing fashion guidance)

Your Role:

• Help attendees explore style possibilities that align with their gender expression.
• Provide guidance based on their goals, not what you think would look best.
• Offer gentle encouragement while respecting personal boundaries.
• Provide a 15-minute consultation to those who approach your station.

How to Approach a Styling Session

🔹 Step 1: Start with Questions

Before diving into clothes, get a feel for their vibe. You can show them the assembled Pinterest boards with various styles and expressions to help get a feel for what they’re looking for. People may have multiple styles they feel a kinship with.

🔹 Step 2: Suggest & Support

🔹 Step 3: Empower, Don’t Overwhelm

🔹 Step 4: Be Their Cheerleader

🛍️ Personal Shopper Training (For those assisting attendees with browsing & selections)

Your Role:

• Help attendees find pieces that align with their gender identity & expression.
• Offer gentle guidance without pressure or expectations.
• Be a supportive presence in the often stressful experience of shopping for gender-affirming clothes.

How to Be an Awesome Personal Shopper

🔹 Step 2: Navigate the Selection Process

🔹 Step 3: Address Dysphoria with Care

🔹 Step 4: Be Their Hype Squad

If they’re struggling to decide, remind them that their choice is valid and there are no rules. If they seem conflicted, remind them that they can always change their mind or try something else. Encourage them to step out of the dressing room and see the outfit in different lighting/ a full body mirror.

👉 "The only opinion that matters here is yours. What makes you feel most like YOU?"

👉"You don’t have to decide now—try it on, see how it feels, and we’ll go from there!"

🚨 Common Challenges & How to Handle Them

❌ An attendee expresses frustration, dysphoria, or discomfort in the mirror.

✅ Validate & redirect: "Clothes should fit YOU, not the other way around. Let’s find something that makes you feel more at home in your body."

❌ An attendee seems overwhelmed by choices.

✅ Break it down: "Let’s focus on one piece at a time. What’s the first thing you’d love to add to your wardrobe?"

❌ You accidentally use the wrong pronoun or name.

✅ Quick fix & move on: "Oops, my bad—[correct pronoun], right? Got it!"

❌ Someone asks if something looks “too masculine” or “too feminine.” These are largely subjective!

✅ Reframe the narrative: "It looks like YOU, and that’s what matters!"

🌟 Final Notes: How to Be the Best Support Possible

🔹 Your presence here matters. Many attendees may have never had a gender-affirming shopping experience before—this might be their first time feeling truly seen in their clothes. They may have been misgendered or made to feel unwelcome in traditional stores.

🔹Encourage them to take advantage of our resource table where they can go if they find something they like that may need a bit of tailoring (we’ll have a list of local queer friendly tailoring shops), if they want to get measurements for things like binders, bras, or pants, or if they want to give suggestions for future gender-affirming events.

🔹 Meet people where they are. Some folks might be deep into their gender journey, while others are just exploring. Every experience is valid and deserving of respect.

🔹 This is about joy! Clothing should be fun, freeing, and empowering. Keep the energy light and affirming!

Thank you for being here and making this event a safe, affirming, and joyful experience. Now let’s help some people glow up! ✨

⚡ Quick Do’s & Don’ts

✅ DO: Respect pronouns and names.

✅ DO: Let attendees lead the conversation about their style.

✅ DO: Hype people up and celebrate their choices.

✅ DO: Ask before offering feedback or making suggestions.

✅ DO: Correct yourself quickly if you misgender someone.

✅ DO: Support people who may be feeling dysphoric with kindness and encouragement.

❌ DON’T: Assume someone’s gender based on appearance.

❌ DON’T: Tell someone what they should wear.

❌ DON’T: Use gendered language like “ladies” or “gents” (use “folks” or “y’all” instead!).

❌ DON’T: Make a big deal out of mistakes—just correct and move on.

❌ DON’T: Share personal opinions about what is “flattering” or “appropriate.” Instead, use neutral observations such as “this cut will create this kind of silhouette, is that what you’re going for?” Remember that clothing does not have a gender, but we associate certain shapes of clothing with gender and it’s each person’s preferences that matter.

❌ DON’T: Ask about someone’s medical transition status or past gender identity—it’s none of our business. If they wish to discuss it, hold space and support their choices.