Accountability is Love
At the Autonomy Project, accountability isn’t about punishment, shame, or a “gotcha” moment. Accountability is love.
It’s how we show care for ourselves, each other, and the community we’re building. It’s not just about what happens when harm occurs — it’s about the daily choices we make to follow through, to be honest, and to hold each other up.
The Problem with Perfectionism
Mainstream (colonized, white-dominant) culture tells us to fear failure. In workplaces, schools, and even families, the expectation is perfection: never mess up, never admit weakness, never drop the ball. When we do, we’re punished, discarded, or treated as less worthy.
That culture of perfection is rooted in colonial systems of control. White supremacy culture, capitalism, and patriarchy all use perfectionism as a way to keep people silent and compliant. If you’re afraid to fail, you’re less likely to take risks, speak up, or push back.
At AP, we reject that model. We know mistakes will happen. We know life will get messy. Accountability here isn’t about being flawless — it’s about being real.
What Accountability Looks Like Here
Accountability is broader than “what happens after harm.” It’s the glue that holds us together in the day-to-day. It means:
- Showing up with honesty: If you can’t make a shift, you tell someone. If you drop the ball, you own it.
- Following through: When you commit to a task, you do your best to complete it — not because you’ll be punished if you don’t, but because others are relying on you.
- Holding each other up: If a teammate is struggling, you check in. Accountability means caring enough to notice, not just leaving them to sink.
- Giving and receiving feedback: We don’t avoid tough conversations. We lean into them with compassion, knowing feedback is a tool for growth, not a weapon.
- Living our values out loud: Accountability isn’t just personal — it’s collective. It means we uphold our values of consent, anti-oppression, and care, even when it’s inconvenient.
Why We Call It Love
Love isn’t passive. Love takes effort. Choosing accountability means we’re choosing each other, again and again — even when it’s messy, even when it’s uncomfortable.
We call it love because:
- To ourselves, accountability is self-respect.
- To each other, accountability is care and trust.
- To the community, accountability is how we build something sustainable instead of burning out or collapsing under conflict.
The Systemic Piece
Colonial and capitalist systems thrive on punishment and disposability. If you mess up, you’re out. If you’re struggling, you’re left behind. Accountability becomes a weapon instead of a practice of care.
We flip that script. At AP, accountability is about interdependence. We don’t strive for impossible individual perfection — we strive for collective resilience. That means:
- Supporting each other when life happens.
- Recognizing that systemic oppression makes “showing up” harder for some folks, and adjusting accordingly.
- Believing that imperfection doesn’t mean unworthiness.
Accountability for Volunteers
For volunteers, accountability is woven into everything:
- Checking in with your team and communicating clearly.
- Respecting the commitments you make while also being honest about your limits.
- Being willing to step up when you see a gap, or step back when you’re overextended.
- Knowing that if you’re called in, it’s not because you’re disposable — it’s because you matter enough for people to want to stay in community with you.
Accountability here is never about perfection or punishment. It’s about building trust, keeping each other safe, and making sure we can rely on one another as we take AP to new heights.
Accountability in Action
When accountability is embraced as love, our community flourishes. Volunteers feel free to take risks and try new things because they know mistakes aren’t the end of the story. Teams become more resilient because people can lean on each other. And conflict doesn’t fracture us — it strengthens us.
Accountability in action looks like laughter when a plan goes sideways, compassion when someone needs backup, and honesty when hard truths need to be spoken. It’s how we grow stronger together.
👉 At AP, accountability isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being present, being honest, and being in it together. Accountability is love because it says: you matter to me, to us, and to the community we’re building.
Our Mission Groups
Our mission group is the intersection and overlap between these specific groups, acknowledging that these labels include many of the same individuals but it is necessary to identify them with specificity.
- LGBTQIA / Queer Community
- all spectrum of genders and identities who fall under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella
- Allies to this Community (friends, family, loved ones who identify as heterosexual/cisgender)
- Sex-positive, creativity-based “counterculture” community
- Sex-positive people of all identities
- Creatives: artists, musicians, and creative souls who seek to build, create, perform, etc.
- Often embraced by those who separate spirituality from religion, unlinking dogma from the concept of self
- GSRM - Gender, Sexual, and Romantically Marginalized Groups
- Gender minorities include individuals whose gender identity does not align with the sex assigned at birth, such as transgender, non-binary, or genderqueer individuals.
- Sexual minorities include individuals who are attracted to the same gender or multiple genders, such as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual individuals.
- Romantic minorities include individuals who experience romantic attraction to the same gender or multiple genders, such as queer, panromantic, or asexual individuals. It includes polyamory, non-monogamy, aromantics, etc.
- Kink/BDSM, including those who engage in Dominant/submissive dynamics
- Fem and Them-Identifying People (cis women, assigned female at birth, trans women, trans men, non-binary, and adjacent)
- This group is not about gender, but about the unique struggles and issues that these people experience with regards to marginalization.
- This group is not exclusionary of cis men, but the marketing and approach should be curated towards those who have life experiences related to being/having been/adjacent to women.
- Care must be taken to ensure the language does not exclude those who have AMAB or trans man experiences, but to highlight the shared commonality of living in a patriarchal system.
- Sex Workers and Sex Work Adjacent
- Anyone who performs professional services, online or offline, related to sexuality. This includes escorts, BDSM professionals, content creators, webcam models, pornographers, sex and intimacy coaches, surrogates, educators, and more.
- Sex work adjacent refers to the support roles, whether it be romantic partners, assistants, photographers, videographers, professional services, friends, etc.
- This group is not defined by what is considered “legal” with regards to sex work, as the laws vary by municipality and stigma remains consistent throughout.
- Focus on marginalized people in these groups:
- People of color (BIPOC)
- Transgender people and those outside the binary gender spectrum
- Sex workers
- those who are professionals in the adult industry (online and offline) and those who identify as artists, creators, and makers
The common thread:
The common thread that connects these diverse communities centers around the concepts of inclusivity, identity, empowerment, and the shared experience of marginalization.
Inclusivity and Acceptance:
All these groups seek a safe, accepting environment where individuals can express their true selves without fear of judgment or discrimination. They all value communities where diversity is celebrated, and differences are embraced rather than shunned.
Identity and Self-Expression:
These communities champion the right to self-identify and express one’s identity, sexuality, and creativity freely. This includes breaking traditional norms and challenging societal expectations related to gender, sexuality, and personal expression.
Empowerment and Advocacy:
Members of these groups often advocate for themselves and each other, striving for equal rights, respect, and understanding. They work to empower each other through education, support, and shared experiences, often in the face of systemic oppression or misunderstanding.
Marginalization and Shared Struggles:
Despite their diverse backgrounds and experiences, individuals within these groups often face marginalization, stigma, and discrimination. There is a collective struggle against the patriarchal, heteronormative structures that traditionally exclude or penalize them.
Intersectionality:
There is a significant overlap among these communities in terms of intersectionality – many individuals belong to multiple groups simultaneously, experiencing compounded layers of marginalization while also embodying multiple identities and experiences.
Community and Solidarity:
There's a strong sense of community and solidarity as these groups often come together to support one another, share resources, and fight for collective rights and recognition. They seek to create spaces – both physical and metaphorical – where members can find support, understanding, and validation.
The Vision
Our vision is to achieve financial self-sustainability within one year and evolve into a significant advocacy platform within five years. We aspire to foster a thriving community within 10 years, focused on pushing for reform and personal freedom for our members and the community at large.
Core Services
- Educational Programs: We offer a wide range of online and in-person educational programs designed to empower and inform our diverse community.
- Community Events: Hosting regular events, workshops, and gatherings at Wicked Eden to bring the community together.
- Advocacy: Actively working to influence policy and public opinion on issues that matter to our communities.
- Space Rentals: Providing a safe and inclusive space for events, meetings, and other community activities.
Target Audience
- Our primary audience comprises individuals from the LGBTQIA+, alternative lifestyle, creatives, and sex work communities who value education, consent, empowerment, and creative community-building.
- See Mission Groups Above
Challenges
- The biggest challenges we face are in the areas of revenue generation and team management.
- Marketing and social media has become challenging to reach our mission groups, and getting our target audience to “leave their house” to attend events.
Goals
- Short-Term: Achieve financial stability, expand the team, and establish a strong educational program.
- Mid-Term: Become a significant player in advocacy, attracting a broader range of donors and grants.
- Long-Term: Create a self-sustaining, empowered, and interconnected community that has a national presence and contributes meaningfully to societal change.
Values and Ethos
As part of our commitment to creating a vibrant, inclusive, and empowering environment, we draw inspiration from the 10 Principles of Burning Man (as well as adding in some of our own). We aim to bring these transformative concepts to our community and our volunteers are on the front line of teaching our community about them.
- Radical Inclusion:
- Explanation: We welcome individuals of all backgrounds and identities, especially those from marginalized communities, feels valued and included.
- Example: Hosting open community meetings where all voices are heard, and implementing anonymous feedback systems to include perspectives from all community members. Making everyone feel welcome and valid in all aspects of our events and programming.
- Gifting:
- Explanation: Encourage sharing of time, knowledge, and resources selflessly to enrich our community without expecting anything in return. We encourage volunteers to share their skills, time, and resources generously, creating a culture of altruism and mutual respect.
- Example: Volunteers offering free workshops or skill-sharing sessions, providing learning opportunities to others without charging fees. Encouraging the community to create and offer their skills and talents to others freely, creating a system of sharing that we all benefit from.
- Decommodification:
- Explanation: Strive to create environments less affected by commercial influence, focusing on human connections rather than transactions. We maintain an environment where community and artistic expressions are not influenced by commercial interests, focusing on the value of community.
- Example: Encouraging support from sponsors and donors as an act of love, not a quid pro quo. Encouraging support of small businesses and entities over large corporations. Ethical, thoughtful fundraising initiatives.
- Radical Self-reliance:
- Explanation: Encourage personal responsibility and the exploration of individual capabilities, supporting each other's journey towards independence and self-discovery.
- Example: Providing resources and tools for community members and volunteers to initiate their own projects or solve problems creatively without immediate external intervention.
- Radical Self-expression:
- Explanation: Support and celebrate each person’s unique contributions and expressions, within the respect of the community’s boundaries. We support and celebrate individuality and creativity, providing a safe space for all forms of personal expression, as long as they respect community welfare.
- Example: Facilitating an art show where community members can display their artworks, showcasing diverse forms of personal expression.
- Communal Effort:
- Explanation: Collaborate and work collectively towards shared goals, recognizing that we achieve more together. We work together as a team, valuing each person’s contribution towards our shared goals, fostering a sense of unity and collective responsibility.
- Example: Organizing community events where everyone can build and create together, encouraging participation from every person in our community to contribute.
- Civic Responsibility:
- Explanation: Act responsibly and ethically within our community and the broader society, respecting shared spaces and laws.
- Example: Coordinating with local authorities to ensure public events comply with city regulations, ensuring the safety and well-being of all participants.
- Leaving No Trace:
- Explanation: Commit to minimizing our environmental impact, ensuring we leave spaces better than we found them.
- Example: Implementing recycling and composting programs at events, and organizing participants to clean the venue thoroughly after use.
- Participation:
- Explanation: Encourage active involvement and engagement in community activities, emphasizing that personal action leads to collective change.
- Example: Inviting community members to take part in decision-making processes or to volunteer for different roles within events and projects.
- Immediacy:
- Explanation: Foster genuine connections and presence, valuing the here and now, and encouraging authentic interactions and experiences.
- Example: Creating phone-free zones at gatherings to encourage face-to-face interactions and immediate engagement with the experience.
- Radical Empowerment:
- Explanation: Foster an environment where individuals are encouraged to explore their potential and participate actively within the community.
- Example: Establishing mentorship programs where experienced community members guide and empower newcomers, helping them to navigate and contribute to the community effectively.
- Radical Consent:
- Explanation: Prioritize clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent in all interactions, establishing a culture of respect and boundary recognition.
- Example: Implementing consent workshops at events and providing clear guidelines on consent, ensuring all participants understand and respect personal boundaries and perpetuate this into the outside world.