Consent is a complex topic.
Consent isn’t just a rule we follow at the Autonomy Project, it’s the heart of how we build safety, trust, and joy together. Consent culture means creating an environment where every interaction, whether it’s sexual, social, artistic, or organizational, is rooted in mutual agreement and respect.
But let’s be real: most of us didn’t grow up in a world where consent was the default. We live in a society where boundaries are constantly ignored — from advertising that manipulates, to bosses that pressure, to systems that tell us our “no” doesn’t count. For marginalized people, especially women, queer folks, survivors, disabled people, and sex workers, these violations are magnified and normalized. Building a culture of consent means unlearning those toxic patterns and actively choosing a different way of relating.
How We View Consent
The F.R.I.E.S. Model
At AP, we use the F.R.I.E.S. model of consent because it’s clear, simple, and powerful:
- Freely given – no pressure, no manipulation, no guilt.
- Reversible – you can change your mind at any time.
- Informed – everyone knows exactly what they’re agreeing to.
- Enthusiastic – “yes” should feel excited, not obligated.
- Specific – saying yes to one thing doesn’t mean saying yes to everything.
This framework applies not only to play and intimacy, but to volunteering, collaborating, and even how we use the space together.
Why Consent Culture Matters
Consent isn’t about avoiding lawsuits or covering our bases — it’s about creating a community where people feel safe enough to take risks, express themselves, and build trust. Without consent, there can be no empowerment, no joy, and no liberation.
Consent culture also flips the script on power. Too often, power is used to coerce or silence. At AP, power is shared. Asking for consent — and respecting it — levels the playing field and reminds us that everyone has the right to make choices for themselves.
The Systemic Piece
The wider world often undermines consent:
- Survivors are shamed or not believed.
- Disabled people are infantilized and denied sexual autonomy.
- Trans and nonbinary folks have their identities debated instead of respected.
- Sex workers are stigmatized and told they “can’t be exploited” if they chose their work.
- People of color are disproportionately policed and denied agency over their own bodies.
We reject those narratives. Consent culture means saying: your voice matters here. Your boundaries are real. Your “yes” and your “no” carry weight.
How We Practice Consent
How We Practice Consent at AP
- Check-ins, not assumptions: We normalize asking, not guessing. “Do you want help with this?” is always better than stepping in uninvited.
- Boundaries are sacred: A “no” is respected immediately, without argument or disappointment.
- Consent everywhere: From a hug at an event to signing up for shifts, consent is built into how we move together.
- Education and modeling: We talk openly about consent, run workshops, and model good practices so that new folks see what it looks like in action.
- Restorative accountability: When boundaries are crossed, we don’t sweep it under the rug. We address it directly and use restorative models to repair harm when possible.
Consent Culture for Volunteers
As a volunteer, you’re not just “following the rules” — you’re a role model for what consent looks like in practice. That means:
- Respecting guest and community boundaries without hesitation.
- Modeling clear communication (asking before touching, assuming nothing).
- Recognizing that consent applies to you, too. Your right to decline a shift, set boundaries with your time, or say no to an interaction is just as valid.
Consent culture means nobody is just here to “give.” You’re part of a community where your needs, your limits, and your joy matter.
Consent Culture in Action
When a whole community practices consent, the difference is electric. People feel free to play, connect, and create without second-guessing whether their boundaries will be respected. Trust grows. Creativity expands. And our spaces become living examples of how the world could be if consent were truly valued.
That’s why we treat consent not as an afterthought, but as a shared practice of care and respect.
Consent Reports
How We Practice Consent at AP
- Check-ins, not assumptions: We normalize asking, not guessing. “Do you want help with this?” is always better than stepping in uninvited.
- Boundaries are sacred: A “no” is respected immediately, without argument or disappointment.
- Consent everywhere: From a hug at an event to signing up for shifts, consent is built into how we move together.
- Education and modeling: We talk openly about consent, run workshops, and model good practices so that new folks see what it looks like in action.
- Restorative accountability: When boundaries are crossed, we don’t sweep it under the rug. We address it directly and use restorative models to repair harm when possible.
Consent Culture for Volunteers
As a volunteer, you’re not just “following the rules” — you’re a role model for what consent looks like in practice. That means:
- Respecting guest and community boundaries without hesitation.
- Modeling clear communication (asking before touching, assuming nothing).
- Recognizing that consent applies to you, too. Your right to decline a shift, set boundaries with your time, or say no to an interaction is just as valid.
Consent culture means nobody is just here to “give.” You’re part of a community where your needs, your limits, and your joy matter.
Consent Culture in Action
When a whole community practices consent, the difference is electric. People feel free to play, connect, and create without second-guessing whether their boundaries will be respected. Trust grows. Creativity expands. And our spaces become living examples of how the world could be if consent were truly valued.
That’s why we treat consent not as an afterthought, but as a shared practice of care and respect.